Blogs cover all sorts of territory. There are some that are very specific, some that are very general. There are some that are very bad. One that is very good is the Spectacled Bean. This post describes a friend who has a very opinionated position on a particular subject. We’ve probably all got a friend like that, and their opinions make us laugh and they aren’t really hurting anybody. Ally and ‘Edward’ are nothing like the two characters below, but reading the post did remind me of this scrap that I wrote a few years ago, and I thought it was time that it got an airing.
“Have you ever noticed how you’re never wrong?”
“It’s a simple enough question, but I’m guessing the answer is ‘no’. Let me rephrase it as a statement. You have an opinion on everything, and it’s always the definitive, brooks-no-questions, respects-no-rebuttals, final word. You always have to have the last word in any conversation. I’m not with you 24 hours a day, but you only ever seem to correcting people and that includes respected people within your own discipline let alone in areas that you’ve got no expertise in.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“We’ve been friends for how long? Since we were children? Twenty years?”
“More like since we were adolescents, and it’s been nineteen years.”
“Thank you for making my point for me: anyway, so nineteen years. And I’ve known what an idiot you can be for eighteen of them! I should have said something, but I could never summon up the energy to try and break through to you. You can be really hard work you know. I think we’re still friends, but I don’t want to see you for a long while. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m married to Tom, and we have a family. If you ever decide that you can respect every member of my family, then we can talk.”
© 2016 David Jesson
It’s probably a bit of stretch to call this a short story – but what do you think? What’s missing? Does it stand on its own?